Icky
by HaphazardbyMikey
Summary: After having to admit that he'd torn his groin on live tv, Alberto Del Rio faces hell as he is caught in the crossfire of three of the most immature boys on the roster.


**Hey Hey! Got this idea after last night's Raw. I busted my ass laughing at Del Rio's "announcement". If you did too, don't forget to review and tell me how hard you were laughing. I'd seriously loooooooove to know...Seriously...all of my fun friends are out of town. We were out of town too, but we left earlier than everybody else and then came back when almost everybody else left and huuuuuuuuh. The only ones left to hang with are the monotone blonde, the fat, lying bitch, but she's grounded anyway, and my other fun friend moved...to Florida...oh and my numba one BFF is still in town...her town anyway...well we technically live in the same town since we live in the same parish, but she lives in a differnt city and...hell I'm not gonna try and explain that. Just here's the story-read on bitches(and I mean that in the most endearing way possible 3)**

_Disclaimer: Oh, and FTR, I can only wish that I owned all the sexy superstars in this story, but sadly, all I owned WAS a blue candy cane, but sadly, I now no longer own that. My bad-ass lil sis stole it._  
><em>Ooh, wait, I have a white pitbull puppy named Sheamus, does that count for anything?...What? Nothing AT ALL?<em>  
><em>Damnit, well then he can carry his lil old shitty ass back where he came from...<em>

**Jojo and Danny: GET ON WITH THE DAMN FIC ALREADY BITCH!**  
><strong>Me:I'M COMING, DAMMIT!<strong>

Ricardo slowly rolled Alberto back to the locker rooms after their segment. As opposed to normal, Alberto wasn't screaming at Ricardo to get him back to the locker room at a reasonable time limit. Alberto was dreading going back to the lockers. Tonight's announcement had to have been the most embarassing thing he'd ever had to reveal on live international television. And it wouldn't have been so bad if those damn twins hadn't come out and interrupted him. As if he wanted those two whores around him trying to flirt when he had torn...that...

When the pair finally reached the locker room doors, Alberto made sure that as Ricardo rolled him through, his head stayed down. He didn't want to meet any of the guys' mocking faces. Alberto was wheeled to the corner of the room he had left his bag in and grabbed it, quietly instructing Ricardo to get him back out and to his car immediatley.

As soon as his wheelchair was turned around though, he was met with the three smiling faces that he NEVER wants to see, especially right now.

"Hey Aaaaaaalllll, how you doing man?" Alex Riley sing songed with a large, toothy smile on his face.

Alberto rolled his eyes and glared at the 8 year old on steroids, "Don't call me that," He growled out, already agitated.

A look of hurt passed over Alex's young face and he stepped behind his two friends, Evan Bourne and Cody Rhodes

"So, Alberto...we um...heard the news..." Evan said in between giggles.

Alberto felt sickened. These three were arguably some of the most irritating people on the roster. They were just so childish! These three grown men seemed as though they belonged in preschool more than on a professional wrestling roster. Yeah, all of them had remarkable in ring skills and they were three of the youngest guys on the roster, but the constant cat fights over who got to sit where, the little pranks they did to everybody, it was all just so unusual for grown men to behave in such a way.

"Of course you did you idiot. Everyone heard! I just announced it on live television," Alberto said through gritted teeth.

"Well, uh...We just were wondering...How did you even manage to tear your groin?" Cody asked, confused as usual. Alberto narrowed his eyes at the man. He had always thought Cody to be quite intelligent. That is until he started hanging around the other two.

"Were you people not watching that brutal match I had with Punk and Miz? Did you not see how close I came to winning?"

"No," They all said, staring idiotically at the aristocrat. Alberto closed his eyes in irritation and cursed in spanish under his breath.

"Tell me chicos...What do you guys do at pay-per-views, no, what do you guys do at regular shows, considering none of you ever really have many matches?"

The three nervously glanced at each other as if afraid that they were being accused of being guilty of a crime. Evan even quickly pulled his arm behind his back, laughing nervously. Yeah, cause that's not suspicious...

"Uuuh... We...Bond! Yep, that's what we do, we bond..." Cody started slowly.

Alberto narrowed his eyes, suddenly suspicious.

"Yes, we love bonding..." Evan said starting to back up slowly towards the exit.

"With all our fellow superstars," Alex says bluntly and Evan and Cody both smack him upside his head. Alex let out a loud yelp and apologized.

'What the hell is that supposed to mean?' Del Rio thought to himself.

"Whatever. Adios chicos. Ricardo, Vamos, date prisa!"

"Si, senior," Ricardo began to wheel Alberto back out, to the wrestler's relief.

"Wait, Al!"

"Don't call me that," he muttered, but kept going.

"Quick question: When you tore your fancy did it hurt?"

Alberto made Ricardo stop and he turned around in his seat, glowering at Alex. To Alberto's disbelief, Alex was actually hoping for an answer. He could see Evan and Cody looking dumbfounded behind Alex as to why their friend might ask such a retarded question.

"No it felt like I was in a post orgasmic state," Alberto said sarcastically. Alex squinched up his face at the thought of Alberto in a post orgasmic state. 'Icky. He's an Icky man. ' Alex thought to himself. 'That icky man probably wants to rape me. I wouldn't blame him. I've got such a hot bod. If I were him I'd tap this'

Thinking further about it, Alex's eyes widened in horror.

"Stop! Don't touch me there, this is my no no square! R-A-P-E, Rape is a felony! Stop, don't rape me, don't, don't, don't rape me," He sang, his face completely stricken with panic at the thought of being raped by Alberto.

Alberto narrowed his eyes and frowned. 'What the hell's he talking about now?'. Behind Alex, Alberto saw Evan and Cody's hands come up to stifle their laughs and two gold gleams caught his eye from their hands.

"You've got on my watch!" he yelled at Evan," and you, you've got on my ring!" He said turning to Cody. Both their eyes grew wide as they were caught.

Alberto turned back to Alex," And I'm sure you've got something too, don't you?"

Alex smiled and nodded before pulling down his shirt and revealing a golden cross.

"You idiots went through my bag and stole my belongings?" Alberto yelled frustrated.

"No!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Alex!"

"Okay," Cody started, pulling Alex back towards him and Evan," Alberto, man, don't call it stealing, that makes it sound so...so-"

"Icky?" Alex cut in.

"Yeah!" Cody agreed.

Alberto was seething." Then what would you call it, if not stealing?"

Cody smiled sheepishly as he twiddled his thumbs and wouldn't meet Alberto's eyes.

"Um...Bonding?" Cody's voice ended in a high pitched squeak.

Alberto glared at all three of them," You have three second. One for each of you, to give me back my items,"

The three men all stood close to each other, sheepishly, all of them pouting like children who were being punished.

"One,"

"Two,"

"Three!"

"Run!" Evan starts to push Alex toward the door, with Cody following close behind. Alberto reaches for Cody, but the younger man jerks away and Alberto falls out of his wheelchair.

He cursed at the pain burning his lower body and let out a loud curse as he heard the door slam behind the three. Ricardo bent down to try and help his boss, but Del Rio, shoved him away and curled in on himself.

"This could not possibly get any worse," He murmured. Then, the sound of the door openeing resounded through the almost empty locker room and two feminine voices could be heard. Alberto groaned in frustration

"Oh, Alberto, what happened?" Brie Bella gushed over him, falling to her knees next to him.

"Brie, get away from him, he's obviously hurt and he doesn't need your musty ass clouding up his air," Nikki Bella's feet appeared near his head and he sighed.

"Will you two please-" The twins continued to argue over him, their voices quickly escalating, driving the man mad.

-outside the arena-

"IF YOU TWO DO NOT SHUT UP, I WILL BEAT BOTH OF YOUR ASSES UNTIL YOU CAN'T WALK!" The whole arena practically shook and near their car Alex shrieked.

"I told you two that he was a rapist!" Alex whispered worriedly.

"Alex, he tore his groin, how the hell is he going to rape anyone?" Cody tried to rationalize.

Alex looked over at Cody fearfully.

"Have you not seen the way he holds his hand up all straught and tense when he walks to the ring. What if he likes it rough and plans on shoving his nasty hands up-"

"Alex! SHUT UP!" Evan growled, getting disgusted.

Alex whimpered and got in the passenger side of the car, Cody laughing at him as he climbed into the driver's seat. Evan got in the back and shut the door. Cody started to pull of to heade to their hotel.

Alex took a quick glance in the rearview mirror at Evan and saw that the younger man was looking out the window.

Alex faked a cough to cover up his words,"Icky rapist,"

"Alex!"

**Okay, well that's it. If you liked it, don't be lazy. I know you're all stuffed with turkey and all that good stuff but go ahead and support the writer and let her know she's not too bad...My damn musi sure aren't showing me any love...**  
><strong>Alex:Mickeeeey, you made me look dumb...but Al is an icky man...<strong>  
><strong>Jojo:For the record, there were a lot of dirty things in this fic...<strong>  
><strong>Me:Like what?<strong>  
><strong>Danny:We aren't going to tell you Me:What? Why not?<strong>  
><strong>Jojo: Because, whoever can find at least one and name it in a review will get a free one shot from the sucky author!<strong>  
><strong>Me:Hey, I'm not sucky...<strong>  
><strong>Danny:Aaaaand with whatever superstar, oc or even you as a character in it. We'll give you a hint: the most obvious one was in the an.**  
><strong>Me:You two 're you even doing here? This story has NOTHING to do with you.<strong>  
><strong>Danny:We got bored. You haven't updated Making Sense of It All in like forever!<strong>  
><strong>Jojo: Yeah, and I still want actual sugar-teeth rotting sugar. I need it bitch.<strong>  
><strong>Me:Too damn bad. You're still punished. And I've got chapter two of your story almost done. It'll be up tomorrow.<strong>  
><strong>Danny:Fine Jojo:Damn you, bitch Alex:Happy Holidays!...You're icky jojo Jojo:Embrace it fool.<strong>


End file.
